Thursday, Aug. 03, 2006 : some thoughts on the past ones
I'm healed. no regrets anymore, any wounds that anyone's given me has made a dramatic amount of healing. I just looked at your picture and remembered you and realized that I no longer miss you at all. I remembered that night where you looked so far away, sitting across from me, not wanting anything to do with me, months before I left you, and I think it was then that I knew we were done. I think there was just guilt after for the way that I left you, and how hurt you seemed. The emotion that poured out of you that you had never let me see made me take another look back. And I don't know if it was just momentary, part of your depression or if you really ever felt that way, but it doesnt even matter now because most likely if it was ever there it's gone now, and what can that say? sometimes people claim to never get over someone.... but i cant believe how clearly in this case it was just guilt. it makes me wonder, does it get easier as you get older, figuring out your emotions?

theres still faded scars from that time i was really hurt by someone. but I wonder now if a lot of it was the fact that I was severly depressed back then and not that we were ever happy and perfect together. I dont even know where you are now, and honestly I dont ever expect to hear from you or ever see you again and I am finally ok with that. cause i know whatever feelings you still had as well were never enough to fight for as you lived with that girl that treated you like shit for years. stay there with her in florida forever. I am happy to finally say that I dont care and I finally see that I am growing up a lot.