some random things.. I can't focus on very many things at once, and I've been really lazy lately. I've had a few random moments where i've panicked about nothing at all. I hate that the most. jason and I both forgot about our 6 month anniversary. but we did spend it together, we went shopping and watched movies. I really like the movie garden state and I didnt think that I was going to. the other day he asked if i was coming with him to philadelphia when he goes back to school possibly next winter. if we are still together, I dont see why not. its a bit further of a trip home than syracuse was, and I've always liked it there but who knows how id like living there, its still a place with more jobs than here I bet. its a we will see kind of thing but its kind of neat that he asked. I've never been serious enough with anyone to live with them, which is ok in my book. I've also never had a relationship like this one before... ha.

my sleep schedule is disgusting. i think it might be part of whats making me so distracted and out of it. I need to figure something out soon. I need to get it together. I always say that... but i'm so scattered.

so that guy living here still really pisses me off. my parents are so ignorant. i cant believe how obvious it is that he is full of shit. they are way too accomidating. ive been having a lot of dreams about everyone in this house. the dreams are always filled with chaos and irritation and stupidity, just like the reality of this place. one thing thats also common in all of these dreams is me being on the phone and being too distracted by stuff, but at the same time i'm trying to somehow get the person on the other end to agree to go out someplace, or have me come out to visit them.. and they usually end up not caring about whats going on and hanging up. these were the distractions this time: every room i went in, everyone ended up following me and when i tried to explain that i was trying to talk on the phone i got blank stares. then dog went running by with a cat in its mouth, and the cat proceeded to later attack me and it got its claw stuck in my leg and i actually felt intense pain and woke up from it. pretty sure id be a lot happier not here. if not rooming with jason in phili, i need to find a female roomate to get an apartment around here with. a not crazy one. *sigh*

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