I had two peices of strawberry rhubarb pie for dinner at work for the flood relief thing they are trying to do with food. its strange, our own little taste of natural disaster, which still amounts to nothing compared to what other people have suffered. billy idol tonight. days off. smell of death. a strange feeling in my head. work is haunted. everything is kind of incredibly blank. I have really odd dreams where its a spin off of my real life, but more dramatic and scary. I'm changing some, or so i think. In a good way. less nervous, higher self value. better small thoughts can change your entire perspective over time. I found a candle that we still somehow have from when i was little. I held it in my hand, smelled it, and stared at it and remembered how carefree and safe I was when I was little. I miss that feeling.

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